the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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