Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
