It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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