She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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