Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
