Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
