You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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