um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
