at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
