New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize