either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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