When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
