I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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