Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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