You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
