I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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