from now on my penis is your penis
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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