I just pynch a tree in the face
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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