yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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