Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
