cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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