she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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