Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
