During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
