Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
