Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
