'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
