I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
