so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
