Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
