The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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