I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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