Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
