I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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