Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
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Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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