Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
we're so committed to being not committed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
