i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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