I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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