Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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