Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
