Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
