I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
