Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
