I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
