found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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