if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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