I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
