So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
