I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
