The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize