i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
