Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
