Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's always time for handjobs
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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