How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
