Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
