Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
