dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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