finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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