Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What drink are we having for lunch?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
